Father Chris – FOURTH SUNDAY OF ADVENT 2021 - Homily

“The Elder Waits For God”

A journalist by the name of Patricia Pearson, granddaughter of former Prime Minister, Lester B. Pearson, wrote a heavily researched book about the death experience, particularly from the point of view of the elderly. From many interviews with those nearing their passing, it became clear there seems to be a middle place of existence between here and heaven, where the dying are slowly transitioning to before their actual death, a place where they still partially exist with us in the material world, but also are living in another state of ‘waiting’, perhaps where the veil between heaven and earth meet and, for them, begins to part.


The book, called, “Opening Heaven's Door: What the Dying May Be Trying to Tell Us About Where They're Going” was inspired by a baffling, but incredible experience Patricia had herself. One morning she received an anxious call from her mother who reported she had gone to wake her father up for breakfast, only to discover he was dead. Being too distraught, she asked Patricia to call and inform her older sister. This was quite a shock, since the family had been so focused for months on Patricia’s older sister who herself was dying from terminal cancer.


Picking up the phone, Patricia’s sister said something like, “Before you say another thing, Pat, did you know dad woke me up early this morning! It was strange. He was just standing at the bedroom door. I don’t know why he came all this way, but he kept saying, ‘There’s nothing to worry about, honey! It’s all good. Everything will be fine. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Wait ‘til you see what’s waiting for us’, and then he just walked out.” Patricia then told her their father had just died.


This extraordinary event was so disturbing and mystifying, Patricia put on her journalist’s cap, and began an equally extraordinary journey researching the event we often do not like to talk about: what happens to us when we die.


Retirement homes and especially nursing homes are places where we are generally assured our beloved elderly are safe, secure, well-fed, and cared for in their old age.
But they are also places of ‘waiting’, where those in their fourth, final stage of life reflect on their lives, rest and ‘wait for the Lord’, for the true ‘advent’ or arrival of God. Often, this is also when they seem to enter this special space or spiritual mode.


The afternoon before the night my mother died, she told me her deceased brother, my uncle, Gilbert, had visited her. He would be helping her transition home. She was so happy! After a lot of suffering, this was what she was waiting for: to see Jesus, her parents, and the child she and dad sadly lost a month after his birth.


Two weeks later, I visited a lady in a nursing home I had been seeing for some time. At 96, she was frail and fragile, but still elegant and poised. I apologized for the long gap in visiting, but that my mother had just passed away. She said, “I know. She said you’d be coming. I’m so happy for her. It’s what we are all waiting for!” Then a nurse dropped in to ask if she’d like to join a craft class next morning. She said, “Oh, no! I’m going home tomorrow morning. My brother was in the dining room today. He’s coming to get me.” Her brother had died years ago. The next day staff called to inform me she had indeed passed away in the early morning.


But often the difficult part of old age is the physical and mental suffering. Saint Bernadette knew the healing waters of the grotto were not meant for her, because her suffering had special meaning; Mother Mary had told her so: “I cannot promise happiness in this life, only in the next”. But not everyone has Bernadette’s strength.


Still, our elderly can do something about their suffering: ‘two things’:
1) Offer up one’s suffering for others: one’s physical suffering (maybe lack of energy), mental suffering (maybe depression), or emotional suffering (maybe grief).
2) Ask for God’s ‘healing’, but in a special form of prayer called ‘Meditation’:
In a quiet place, sit or lie down with eyes closed, and ask God for 3 loving petitions:
1. Heavenly Father, as I grow older,
help me to accept both joy and sorrow in my life. *** Pause, … and then say, …
2. Dear Jesus, as I grow older,
help me to be kind to myself and others. *** Pause, … and then say, …
3. Holy Spirit, as I grow older, help me to be happy and at peace in my life.
Then sit for 5 mins or longer as you wish, and let God heal and comfort your soul.


Jesus, this Advent, hear the call of your elderly, waiting for your arrival in their wilderness here on earth. Straighten their final roads, calm their weary minds, ease their suffering and struggles, and guide their frail feet on the path of peace.


– Rev Fr Chris Tracey, Saint Joseph Parish, Saugeen Shores, Ontario